It's No Trouble Bringing My Portable Table Upstairs
Of course, When Your Husband Offers To Help, I Certainly Don't Mind
OK, friends.
By now, you can’t miss the fact that I practice In-Home Massage in New Jersey. I mean, if you’ve read my entries, you’ll see that is the theme of this particular substack of mine.
So, in the course of driving all over the state performing Postnatal and Prenatal Massage in NJ, as well as Lactation Services and Infant Massage Training for Parents, I’ve encountered many families over the years.
Each family lived in their own home or apartment, in different towns. Some homes had stairs, others did not.
Frequently, Postnatal Massage is done in the bedroom or baby nursery.
Prenatal Massage is less frequently performed in the bedroom. Usually, the den, living room, or spare room is what’s chosen by the massage recipient.
Invariably, if the home is a two-story structure, the bedrooms are upstairs. I don’t mind the extra carrying; it’s more comfortable for the new mom being in the bedroom or room where the baby nurses.
And so, I have to carry the materials for the session up the steps.
It’s fine; really, it is! I have done this thousands of times before, and it’s always alright. I take every step mindfully, and make sure I have a secure footing. I really don’t want to fall, least of all in someone’s home when I’m there to provide help, not be in need of help!
Often, the new mother’s husband is around. I usually don’t work weekends (unless it’s urgently necessary!) and so it’s because so many successful people now work a flex schedule or work entirely from home that I encounter so many husbands.
I understand that many husbands are quite busy, even though they are at home.
Their priority is clearly supposed to be work! So I am not expecting a guy to take a break from his laptop, database work laid out before him, sitting there really into it, and drop everything and start conversing with me.
Rather, I try not to be a bother, knowing I’m in a family’s personal space, and now, work environment, too!
However, sometimes the husband comes over and talks. Or, he’s the one to open the door. That often happens.
Most husbands do not offer to carry anything. When they do offer to carry something up the stairs, I hand them my personal bag or my massage oils kit.
I always take the table and would feel weird handing that off to them. It is the heaviest item, and I’d just feel as though I were imposing.
Some husbands pick up the table without asking, or even insist. They lead the way up the stairs carrying the portable massage table and make it look easy.
Sure; the dude is 6’2” and 250 pounds; try being my size navigating a stairwell with a bulky, gigantic rectangular bag! It’s not the easiest task in the world!
I don’t feel bitter when a man doesn’t offer to help.
However, I can say, without reservation, that offering help, insisting to be of help, or just stepping up and grabbing something, is kindly and shows that I am valued as a Healthcare Professional there to assist his wife, a human being of equal worth.
It’s considerate, but not necessary. I won’t hold it against someone for not offering to help. Really, though, I can’t help feeling more appreciated when I do receive help.